Sunday, December 27, 2009

Not Pregnant

I took a second home pregnancy test today and it was negative.  Of course it's not over until my period shows and that should be tomorrow or Tuesday, but I'm pretty sure it didn't happen this month.

I am really shocked since we were pregnant the very first month we tried for both of our children.  I was half expecting the same to be true for this baby, but God is showing me that He is in control.  No matter how well I plan things out, He is the one who creates life. 

My thoughts have already been drifting down the path of the "what if's". 
"What if I never get pregnant again?"
This is my biggest question today.  And I'm facing it with a prayer for God's Will to be done and not mine.  If  He chooses to close my womb, then I need to be thankful for the wonderful, beautiful children He has already given to me. 

Praise be to God!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

First Post

Lots of different feelings going on in my head these days. 
Am I pregnant?
Will I be sick?
Will the medication work?
And if it doesn't work.....?

For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to be pregnant, to feel the baby growing within me, to have the big belly. 
Now, I've been pregnant twice and every minute of it was awful.  I felt that I was in survival mode every moment of every day.  At all costs I was fighting to not throw-up, but things like:
getting too hot or cold
getting too hungry
eating too much
looking at the computer or tv
a turn taken too hard in the car
somthing too tight around my belly
smells all different kinds of smells
standing too long
and much more would cause me to throw-up. 
I tried so many remedies, but nothing really worked.  With my second pregnany, I was put on Zofran and Phenergan after 2 trips to the ER for IV's as I was so dehydrated.  Zofran was taken during the day, and I would take Phenergan just before dinner.  The hope was that I would be able to eat and fall asleep before I threw-up.   It helped a little.  I would still throw-up about 5-6 times during the day, but I was able to keep most dinners down since I was "out cold" with the Phenergan.
Now add in here midwives who were not very understanding and telling me that I should try to stop taking the phenergan.  I was losing weight, about 2 pounds a week.  I was questioned like I was a child "what did you eat for breakfast? And lunch?"  It seemed liked they closed their ears to my answer "it doesn't matter what I eat, it all comes back". 
Finally close to the 20 week mark I got a Vitamin B6 shot.  I had to order it myself from the pharmacy and take it to my appt.  At this point things started to get a little better. By 22 weeks I had gained 2 pounds.  No one knew I was pregnant, let alone past the half way mark. 

But, by God's Grace I survived my second pregnany and delievered my 9 pound 1 ounce VBAC baby!  A perfectly healthy son, our daughter had a brother.  His size amazed us as I only gained 27 pounds. 

Since then I have done much reading and learning about HG (hyperemesis gravidarum).  I was able to get a medication from Canada called Diclectin.  In the 1970's my mom took this drug while pregnant with me and it was called Bendictin.  As it's no longer available in the US, I had to get it from Canada.   It worked for my mom and I'm praying it works for me.  Canada has a much lower rate of hospitalization of pregnant women due to nausea and vommiting than the US does becuase of this medication. 

Join me on my third journey through pregnancy. I pray that this one will be a whole different experience - one that I will enjoy and have good memories of.