Monday, February 21, 2011

Things that trigger the memory

A couple of weeks ago we drove on a road that I had not been on in almost a year.  I was at the end of the 1st trimester and we were just wanted to get out with the kids for a special day.  We were given a pass to swim at an indoor pool at a local ski resort and before there we went to some outlets.  So, nothing fancy just trying to get some fresh air, so to speak.  

I was getting a little better in that I was not spending all day on the couch trying to figure out what food I could eat that wouldn't taste too bad when it came back up. I was not able to cook or do much of anything around the house, I guess I was still mostly on the couch, watching the clock waiting until I could take my next Diclectin.  I lived by the clock out of fear of missing the next dose.

But I was also feeling the NEED to get away from the smells of my home.  The smells that only I could smell..... those down right awful smells.  For those of you with HG, you know very well what I mean.  I've had 3 pregnancies in 3 different homes.  During each of them I smelled smells in the houses that I didn't smell any other time.   My husband once said that I could smell the sweat on the back of an ant and I would have to say that he was correct.

Anyways, back to what I was starting to say.  It was amazing the feeling that came over me as I saw the sights on this road.  I actually felt a small wave of nausea, if you can believe that.  It got me to thinking about the pregnancy.  Out of the 3 this was the "easiest" one because the HG was controlled, but I still felt sick through out the whole 9 months.  It was like I was in the morning fog and try as I might, I could not clear it all away.  There was always a haze to my days.... a haze of sickness I was trying to ignore.  Once the throwing up slowed way down, my haze was a little clearer but it was not until my baby was born that the sun broke through and I was seeing everything clearly again.